Hindi pala exam na may passing rate ang buhay ... Huhusgahan ito hindi base sa kung tama o mali ang sagot, kundi base sa kung may kabuluhan ang mga naisulat o wala. Allowed ang erasures. -ABNKKBSNPLAKo?!
I was thinking of what stories about me would I tell you at the moment. My mind is boggled by lots of people and events that made me oh-so stressed for the past few weeks. Well, here’s a glimpse of my life – my undaunted adventures.
I often have problems regarding the overrated emotion brought about by the reactions on my hypothalamus. Many have said, ‘use your brain not your heart’. I was just wondrin’ how would I choose between the same thing? My mind versus my mind? DUH. When you get to be so emotional, you still, of course, use your brain. The heart-throbbing sensations and cold-clammy feeling are just results of the impulses. We may not just be logical during these times but we are still using the brain. How many times have I told myself not to be drowned by my emotions? Pero tao ako, marupok. Well, at least every relationship is a learning experience. I don’t regret anything. I was happy with what has been. But I really felt bad with what has taken place these past few weeks. Ang messy siguro ng test paper ko sa part na ito. Madaming involved madaming nakisaw-saw. Anyways, trials are good foundations. Dito siguro wala akong ie-erase. Kung allowed ang erasures, malamang allowed din ang superimpositions. Papatungan ko na lang yung konting aberya, para masaya.
“Tell me who you are and I’ll tell you who your friends are.”
It’s like, give me a mirror, I’ll show you who your friends are. I find this unacceptable in some way. Just as I would want thank them for being there for me in times of laughter and tears… for having been there I supposed, but some friendships evolve in differences. I don’t want to say that there are endings in some friendships but like in romantic relationships, I think there are ‘cool offs’. We needed air or space…for us to think over the things we’ve caused the other to get wounded. This might’ve been hard but it’s for the best. Sometimes, even if you think you didn’t do anything wrong, take the initiative to patch things up. Be humble enough. Learn that pride isn’t always on top of your head. There are things best learned when you lost someone really important to you. I, myself have proven this to be true.
“Don’t make this too hard for us. I just stepped backwards. For you to realize what you’ve done what you’ve caused me, what you’ve become. Yeah, people do change, but don’t be a monster of your own. Learn to keep your COOL. Learn to be real. Learn to be true. Accept that there are things left unsaid. There are things left unspoken. Minsan kung wala kang pinoproblema, be thankful about that. Hindi yung problemahin mo yung buhay ng iba. Friends are part of your life, but sometimes you don’t have to meddle with THEIR OWN LIFE. We do ‘edit’ at times, especially when you know that the person you are confiding with cannot anymore be trusted…think about this friend.”
Sa part na ito ng-exam, gusto kong mag-erase, ayoko yung nangyari. Masaya akong kasama sya eh. I want to erase what has happened and replace it with happy moments we’ve shared… =)
Kelangan palang pagdaan namin to. Why are we always into unbearable predicaments?Kami ba ang minalas na group at lagi na lang natataon sa mga ka-toxican sa mundo? We all felt bad about this.. really felt bad.I received a message yesterday afternoon about an orientation for the CLDH-ICU duty. " May orientation daw tayo ngayon. 1pm sa NALB."It was already 12noon when I got the message. I was already home then, about to rest after a not-so-good morning I had during the lecture. The orientation is very much important to every exposure - that is, to familiarize us with the institution where we will be having our duty and the policies of our clinical instructors regarding the requirements we have to complete. Not attending this would mean a failing remark and repeating the whole exposure, unless reasons for absence would be considered.I was in school at exactly 1pm yesterday. Our CI saw me and told me that the orientation would be today at 7am and the meeting place would be in front of the library."Sabi po kasi nila ngayon. May nareceived po akong message na may orientation daw ngayon kaya po andito ko..""Sabi ko bukas ehh.. di ba Thurdays duty nyo? Bukas na lang ha.. 7am sa harap ng lib sabihin mo sa kanila."After a few minutes, I received a text message, informing us that the orientation would be today at 7am. Nakakaloka. Ang gulo ng mga text na yan. Hahahaha Naperwisyo na naman ako.This morning I got up a bit late.. it was past 6 I think. I went to school at exactly 7am. It would take 5-10 minutes from my place to the school. Upon arriving, I saw my groupmates on a not-so-good mood."Late na daw tayo. May IR tayong lahat.""Sino pa ba ang kulang? Si Eve wala pa..at si Madam (referring to one of our groupmates who's a teacher.)"Madam was the last one who arrived. Then we went to NALB to meet our CI."DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT? I TOLD YOU TO COME TO SCHOOL AT 7! I CAME HERE AT 6:45.. WAITING FOR YOU IN FRONT OF THE LIBRARY? BAKIT NGAYON LANG KAYO? ELMER! JADE!OOOhhh my goossh.. Bakit narinig ko name ko...I didn't expect her to be in that mood. Eh, on my time..sakto lang pagdating ko. We were all considered tardy. And for our punishment, we were asked to write an INCIDENTAL REPORT.I was really surprised by what has happened. Parang binagsakan na naman ng kamalasan ang group namin dahil sa unang araw ng exposure, IR at make up duty agad ang nag-welcome sa amin. Huwaw! Di pa man nag-start ang duty, may make up duty na! We should all be responsible for our own actions. But not all of us deserve that. May mga dumating talaga on time. May mga na-late. At may mga tardy. Ang hirap naman kasing man-laglag ng ibang tao, lalo na't di ka rin naman perpekto. Sana yung mga tardy na lang yung may make up duty.This day would be memorable for all of us. Sobra.
Yes, yes, yes...We are already fourth year students and we are expected to be knowledgeable enough about the basic procedures done in the area ( hospital or community) . Well, for all we know, not all the ideal are presented in the institutions we affiliate with. And since most of the time , we are assigned in private hospitals, we are deprived of doing invasive procedures to the patients, since, they are paying for an EFFICIENT (supposedly) CARE OR MANAGEMENT of their diseases. Kapag umaalma kami sa kakarampot na ginagawa namin, kami ang nagmumukhang masama. Hindi po iyon pagmamarunong... May mga bagay lang po kaming gustong matutunan, lalo na't nasa hospital kami kasi mas tumatatak sa'min ang mga na-aaply na concepts kesa sa mga minemorized lamang. Kaya nga po kami nagduduty diba? Para matuto. Hindi para alilain ng mga tamad na aides na iuutos kuhanan ng VS at I&O ang buong floor para atupagin lang yung pagpa-powder nya.They say , it's up to our initiative if we'll learn or not. Whether we have the initiative or let's say we're not just that assertive enough, I believe it is still under your GUIDANCE for us to learn something. Even if we wanted to do the procedures we wanna learn if you'll not allow us to do it, do you think it is worth the LEARNING EXPERIENCE?Ang hirap po kasi, kapag nasa lecture kami, sinisisi ang RLE dahil dun daw kami dapat natututo. Eh pag wala naman alam about certain topics or concepts, dahil malamang ay hindi pa nagagawa sa area or worst di pa na-eencounter, parang ang student pa ang magmumukhang tamad - eh sa hindi nga pa nga nagagawa kasi wala pang chance gawin. Sa dami po naming students sa area, di naman masisiguradong lahat iyon ay makakagawa ng pare-parehong procedures.Pag sa area naman, may tinatanong at hindi alam, sa lecture naman ang sisi. "Hindi ba dapat napag-aralan nyo na yan sa lecture?"(Minsan, oo, kasalanan din ng student kasi pwede naman malaman yan sa books. Kahit di naturo, basta mahilig ka magbasa, may alam ka.)We are still on training. We learn from every experience we get in the hospitals we work into. It isn't wrong to commit mistakes cuz we learn from each of them. We learn from whatever it is that we do. And please, do not deprive us of the things we need to know. They say we are the "Masters of Vital Signs". Is it enough to be tagged as such? The nursing profession isn't just about vital signs taking, not just about charting, not just about the yellow/orange/pink/blue books... we wanna see what's beyond the WHITE UNIFORM..
Get a